Words from the beating heart

Baby,

Everyday i fought, just to get through the day without the thoughts of you. But i failed.
With each breathing moment, i told myself to stay strong, that this pain will soon be gone. But failed again. At times, i am furious that why is my heart is so stubborn. That why after you chose to leave me, it chose to still love you unconditionally.
Time doesn't heal, time doesn't numb, time is just time. it's been 5 months, and i found myself still standing where you left me. I'm suffering. i know i'm supposed to control my feelings and emotions, but at the end of the day i gave in and allow myself to feel that pain again. Cuz its so overwhelming and i know its a fight i cannot win.
but baby, i do not blame you for all these. I blame myself for failing to make you understand that i love you for who you are, i love you for your flaws, your ego, your imperfections,and everything about you. That i also failed to show you that when i fell in love with you, i am also learning how to love the person i found, I never wanted a perfect lover. It is how you see past all the flaws and still want to be together. It is how we motivate each other and grow together to be a better person, a better couple. But now, i guess we are not on the same page anymore, and I am sorry i made myself so easily disposable.
Well good nite baby.
Have fun at the beach.
I love you.

Love.
Rui