another song

music n lyrics by: rui

I spent my days

right beside you
keeping my faith
though my chances are few

I wonder, u know
how i felt about you
I wonder, if you already knew
that u're heart-skips-a-beat
breath taking material

everytime i look at you
my heart wants to say what i really feel
the words would come but my mouth is sealed
oh baby, if you really knew...

i spent all day
thinking about you
holding my breath
i'm nervous its true

I wonder, u know
how i felt about you
I wonder, if you already knew
that u're heart-skips-a-beat
breath taking material

everytime i look at you
my heart wants to say what i really feel
the words would come but my mouth is sealed
oh baby, if you really knew...

its torturing
its killing me slowly
dun you know, in my eyes,
is where you belong

i dunno know why?

i know now, it was my expectations..
its my weakness. i tend to expect them to live up to the expectations on the image i perceived them to be. that is y, i felt this way. that is why, it hurts. that is why, i'm feeling so down, so lost, so emo.
i tried to change this part of me and tried to like them for who they are. but i guess i need time to adapt, or not.. i don't know, i'm confused, i'm devastated.
the pain has been going on since yesterday, n it doesn't get any better at all. its not supposed to hurt this way. i tried to slow things down. i controlled my feelings. i hid it all. but WHY?! am i still facing this? WHY?

why?

sitting 2 meters away from u, u're using my computer. n i'm scared. there is a link to dis blog. if u ever happened to see my blog, i m seriously gonna kill myself.
for the first time, i saw u drunk yesterday.. for the first time, i dun like what i see in the club.. for the first time, i feel intimidated. okay, i know, i'm in no position to feel this way.. but.. its jz the way u make me feel..
no matter how many times u're gonna get drunk, i will be there... sometiems i wonder itz jz me or are they all d same? i'm too paranoid(thx to my mum)? or i care too much? or i'm just no player material? HY used to tell me, if u wanna play, den u can't care too much.which is probably true oso.
seriously i shouldn't let this get to me. and when ppl are drunk they can't even take care of themselves, how can i expect u to care for my feelings rite? and it is very common for ppl to get drunk,den y do i dislike the ppl that i like to get drunk? why do i look at them in a way that they can't control themselves? i think, maybe i do have a problem here..