is it too much much to ask?

here i am.. wondering, pondering, how things changed so much in so little time.
is it possible? to stop loving someone whom u always loved? i tried and i thought i did it. but the truth is, i'm not over it.. n i had been lying to myself. n now, i'm back, i think about u even more than i used to when i'm elsewhere. those dreams, those flash backs, they scared me, so much to the extend that i think i'm going crazy. but i know somehow, it is impossible for u to love me back anymore. it stopped, maybe long time ago. and it hurts so much to even think about that. honestly, despite of what kind of person u are, i still n do love u. but i guess u wldn't care less about how i felt about u, am i right?
thats right, i fell deep. i hate the fact that i enjoyed having u around, n the fact that i still do.
i remembered the day, how it happened for the first time i was being drawn to u, it was after 3 months knowing u. i felt the flames going in me, i was terrified by it as i know its gonna lead me to something else, i dared not face it. but in the end, eventually i gave in to it. know y? cuz ever since that moment, i can't stop thinking bout u n i can't help feeling the way i feel. the connection was so strong, n thruout the months, i patiently stayed by ur side, without letting my feelings be known. i didn't know how u felt for me back then, i was scared i ruined things. however, never in my wildest dreams, i learnt that u felt the same way too. that was when the waves come flooding in, my affection for u got stronger, day by day. and those were the best times of my life. we fought, we made up. so many times. but yet we were okay. those heart breaking moments, those tears would immediately stop when u break a smile. and the truth is, you really got a smile that could light up this whole town. and it was the smile, that made me stronger, that gave me warmth, that makes everything i do worthwhile.
if i could turn back the time, n unwind our fights that brought us here today, i would. cuz never for a second in my life, that i regretted loving you. what i regret, was having that fight wit u. that was a mistake, the worst mistake that i ever made... i wish i could tell u that, knowing it might be just to late, but is it too much to ask? for u to just listen...